yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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