in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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