then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
