i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
