after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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