I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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