So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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