just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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