does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
