let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
