a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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