Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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