Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
