You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
