So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
