why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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