So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
