She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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