I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
