He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
