But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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