Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
