it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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