Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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