I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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