Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
