Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
