Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
