How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just cut my nipple shaving
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
