Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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