Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
