new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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