I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
