You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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