Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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