There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
