I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.