Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

(323): View more from California

Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

(831): View more from California

Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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(831): Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777 (323): Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;) (831): Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up. http://tfl.nu/bykg

Replies (19) Good night (2172) Bad night (754)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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(906): I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again http://tfl.nu/daze

Replies (83) Good night (780) Bad night (3351)
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(574): View more from Indiana

some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous

(1-574): View more from Indiana

class

(574): View more from Indiana

he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson

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(574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous (1-574): class (574): he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson http://tfl.nu/2w68

Replies (46) Good night (5026) Bad night (1092)
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(248): View more from Michigan

New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.

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(248): New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb. http://tfl.nu/zkca

Replies (15) Good night (3283) Bad night (1035)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

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(402): You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day (1-402): If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it http://tfl.nu/wdhm

Replies (12) Good night (5056) Bad night (1380)
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(716): View more from New York

sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner

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(716): sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner http://tfl.nu/i2lb

Replies (10) Good night (1201) Bad night (3984)
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(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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(214): She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca http://tfl.nu/k60q

Replies (19) Good night (1534) Bad night (7113)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.

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(541): I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom. http://tfl.nu/ubxd

Replies (3) Good night (1844) Bad night (969)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

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(781): Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink? http://tfl.nu/6hyx

Replies (6) Good night (2308) Bad night (760)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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(+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8

Replies (7) Good night (2615) Bad night (640)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.

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(918): Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE. http://tfl.nu/pg7d

Replies (7) Good night (1220) Bad night (472)
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(702): View more from Nevada

At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.

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(702): At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out. (1-702): If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week. http://tfl.nu/ued1

Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (415)
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(334): View more from Alabama

That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.

(678): View more from Georgia

Good point.

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(334): That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating. (678): Good point. http://tfl.nu/bwir

Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (438)
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(425): View more from Washington

How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

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(425): How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"? http://tfl.nu/pajq

Replies (14) Good night (1078) Bad night (399)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.

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(479): I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos. http://tfl.nu/yi6p

Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (268)

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