Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize