woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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