Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
