A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
smell my finger.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
