At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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