In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
