her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
