If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
