Im at strip club and am horny
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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