first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize