i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I checked into jail on foursquare
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.