Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.