You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause