..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
worst night to have a conscience
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution