I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.