It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
