Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
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if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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