I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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