yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
