I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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