marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
