we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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